From a professional wordsmithing point of view, what would be your dream project?
Last year I finished leading a two-year writing programme for an international professional services organisation. We had some fun along the way, we really developed their language, made the leadership team sound inspiring and helped a lot of employees communicate well and enjoy their writing more. But I feel we only really got to base camp. There’s so much more we could have done, and there are so many day-to-day benefits we could have achieved, like developing much better ways for them to inspire and guide their design and ad agencies and freelances. I would love the opportunity to develop another programme. It doesn’t take an enormous investment to have a profound effect on the way an organisation communicates, so this approach seems absolutely in tune with the times. So, a dream client – a McKinsey, Bain or Booz. The civil service. Or the UN. Failing that, I’d be happy to work as Guus Hiddink’s translator for a few months. His English is already excellent, so I would concentrate on steering him clear of sick parrots and games of two halves.
Writing books is, for me, the most satisfying form of work. My dream project would be to write the official biography of Leonard Cohen. I would wake happily every morning.
A series of posters for The Smiths inevitable comeback tour. Somewhere I’d have to slip in Morrissey’s line “I’d rather eat my own testicles than reform The Smiths – and that’s saying something coming from a vegetarian”.
How about a brochure for the first travel agency on the moon? It could happen. “Peaceful, plenty of land available, great if you love sterile surroundings. Spacious.”
This job’s right on the edge of possibility: I’d like to be the onboard blogger on the first manned trip to Mars. In the emptiness of space, the job would be all-consuming. At home, the audience would be huge. Imagine sharing all those months of endless tedium and a few brief weeks of alien landscapes with so many people. Of course it could turn out to be a diary of the crew’s (or my) descent into madness. That’s part of the risk.
I would like to move to New York on a three-year contract to rethink the communications of the United Nations
“Story, six words!”…..”Great!” Happy ending.
An ad campaign for I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue. With all double entendres allowed.
I’d enjoy having a go at the next atheist bus campaign.